Fall

I was nineteen when I first experienced autumn

Nov 11, 2025

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I was nineteen
When I first experienced
Autumn
I remember, I took
A hundred photographs
An attempt to frame
And freeze
The wonder and awe
Coming to life
Inside of me.
Once a year
I anticipate
With equal measures of
Celebration and regret
My favorite week -
When the trees are at their peak
Of that ritual they do
Before they go to sleep -
The earthy hues of the
Maples, redbuds, sycamores and oaks
Beside the constant, vibrant evergreens
A living, quickly-changing
Bouquet of multicolor
That rivals the most prized roses
And wildflower fields.
I like to drive fast
Through this highway
That cuts through the National Forest
But not this week at all
Instead I feel that desperate tug
In my heart
The longing for the ticking clock
To stop
So I can dance away a little longer
In my mind
Marveling about
How nothing on earth
Can truly be said
To be
Ordinary, or
How the highest tips of those branches
Make me think of the life that
Exists underground
How the most vital of animals
Have the simplest anatomy
I wonder if their little bodies can feel
The fall
Of a million
Copper-colored leaves
Blanketing their home
As I sit here wishing, hoping
That winter won’t last too long

I wrote this poem last fall, the words appearing to me whilst driving on that highway I mention in it: the Hal Rogers Parkway. It was my fourth autumn here in the beautiful forested hills of southeastern Kentucky. Here, where the trees have a pull on me that I cannot perfectly place, like a distant echo of something I used to know. I felt them welcoming me when I first arrived here in October 2020, and I’ve felt held by them ever since.

This poem was published in Knox County’s newspaper last fall, and they published it again a second time this year.

I’d been wanting to bring these words and sentiments to life in video format, and finally, after weeks of envisioning, gathering clips and making the time and space to put it all together, it’s here and I get to share it with you.

A fun little story about the earthworm you’ll see towards the end of the video: I tried to find one a few times in the woods behind my house. Digging in the fragrant soil with sticks and fingers, I called for a worm to volunteer to be recorded, to be seen by me, and by you. I didn’t find one. Several days later, one came to me effortlessly. One magical Wednesday morning, it revealed itself in this spread of foraged items my kids and I brought in for a fall craft we were about to do. It was hiding under that moss… oh how we love moss!

Delighted and grateful, I carefully carried the earthworm and set it down by the roots of a tree in the side yard. I took a short video clip, thanked it and watched it disappear into the fallen leaves and moist dirt.

The music was the hardest thing to find. In the synchronistic fashion that is commonplace in my life, the title of the track is “Libellule” - Libellula, being a genus of dragonflies, called chasers or skimmers, in the family Libellulidae. Dragonflies are My Thing. They appear everywhere for me. Perhaps soon I’ll share with you some stories about the surprising ways they have shown up in my reality. Anyway, back to the music - I tried to find the track again in the Sea of Unlicensed Music Via Search Engine, and it looks to be an impossible task at this point. So sadly, I am unable to share with you who the artist is. If you ever find them, please let me know! Alright, here it is - I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me. Happy 11/11, and have a lovely November! Lotsa love :)

P.S. Upon uploading the video on my YouTube channel, I discovered that it is 122.2 seconds long. Twelve is my number - I was born 12/12 at 2:21am.